A drive-by art rec and a ficlet

[therealsnape]

When we were in Canterbury last year, we had lots of fun with hairpins.

No, nothing too kinky.

Just that I had to pin up our Minerva's black bun, and then, at the end of the ball, queen_of_snapes had to take all the pins out of cranky__crocus's spectacular long hair. And Queenie mentioned how the undoing Minerva's bun, hair tumbling over naked shoulders, whole thing being very sexy and, above all, easy (such a well-known fandom trope) couldn't be realistic at all, since the whole process was full of anxiety on the part of the unpinner and yelps on the part of the bun-owner.

Well, shadowycat made a drawing of the very moment. You'll find it here.

At the time, I even wrote a little ficlet about the hairpin thing. I never posted it, but shadowycat's lovely drawing reminded me of it so much, I decided to let you have a peek at it after all.

In the ficlet (I'm giving you the hairpin part of it) Rolanda, Minerva, and Poppy have a late-night drinking session with lots of gossip and stories. (No, you'll never get the full tale.)

At some point someone asks Minerva why she never does anything truly elaborate with her hair, and she says she always uses a simple binding spell. The girls feel there's more to it than that, and, with lavish amounts of liquor, bribe her into telling.



“It’s a very old story. From the days way back when, when Severus and I had a thing going – I told you about that?” Minerva starts. Poppy and Rolanda both nod, sip their glasses, and lean back to listen.

“Well, it all started with a Quidditch game. If Ravenclaw would win, they would play against Gryffindor in the House Cup Final. But if Hufflepuff would win, Gryffindor would play against Slytherin.”

“I remember that game!” Rolanda exclaims. “Hufflepuff had that wonderful seeker – the Abbots girl, what was her name again, and …”

“Never mind the game,” Poppy says. “The story. You and Severus had made a bet, of course.”

“We did. He proposed it – I was that certain Ravenclaw would win, I didn’t even suggest a bet. But he insisted. Said Hufflepuff would pull it off. And I had a pleasurable few days thinking up scenarios on how I would make him pay up. You know how we usually settled …”

Both friends nod. “And then Hufflepuff won,” Rolanda says gleefully. “And Severus could make you pay.”

“Quite. He came to my room that evening. Simply dashed in, gathered me up in his arms, and practically threw me on the bed. My dears, it was quite like a scene from one of those Muggle romances Charity used to read – you know what I mean? The ones with the handsome tall man clasping a half-fainting young woman to his pectorals? It’s what I told Severus, too. I said that I quite felt like one of those blushing maidens about to be ravished by a tall, dark stranger.”

“I’ve seen those books – did you ever read them? Do they have scenes like that?” Poppy wants to know.

“I’ve read one; I thought it was screamingly funny. Full of Throbbing Members and Cores of Womanhood. And yes, there was a scene where …”

“Never mind the book,” Rolanda interrupts. “He threw you on the bed, you said you wanted to be ravished, and then?

“Well, Severus, who always did mind the books – it’s what I liked about him – wanted to know whether they really contained the Muggle equivalent of phrases like With an expertly-executed swish-and-flick, the blushing virgin Vanished the hero’s clothes.”

“You mean you …”

“Well, yes. Of course I did. There’s only so much virginal blushing I can do. And then Severus felt that, in order to remain in style, he should rip a bodice. Only he wasn’t going to, for he had a strong feeling that those things are easier done in fiction than in reality, and that he would look a complete fool, tugging at my undies. So he just Vanished my clothes as well.

“But there was another trope he wanted to try, he said, and he ordered me to sit up. I obeyed – he had won, after all. I asked him what he wanted to do, and he said it was that thing about taking the pins from a woman’s hair and watch it tumble down over naked shoulders and breasts. And that one could be done by magic, he thought. So he waved his wand and Accio’ed the pins.”

“Oh Merlin, no. The idiot!” Poppy exclaims.

“Why idiot? It sounds like a marvellous idea,” Rolanda says.

“Because…” Poppy starts, touching her own bun. “No, it’s Minerva’s story. Go on. Poor Severus.”

“Poor Severus, indeed. It was a brilliant Accio, a perfect, textbook Accio. The pins flew out at once, straight at his body. All fifty-one of them. Did I mention I had Vanished his clothes?”

Slowly, the two friends process the image. As visualizing happens, mouths curl and shoulders start to shake. “My heart bleeds for him,” Poppy hiccups. “Was he actually wounded? No – he can’t have been; I never saw him in the Sick Ward. And I dare say I would have remembered. But you – wasn’t it awfully painful for you when the pins flew out?”

“It must have been,” Minerva muses. “But it happened so fast I had no time to think about it. And then Severus was frantically hopping around, while he tried to protect – with great presence of mind, I must say – his most … erm … vulnerable parts.”

“And you were quite overcome, of course. With emotion, I mean.”

“Exactly. I was … simply not in a position to say anything. Severus, on the other hand, was most vociferous. And quite unjust. He had no business calling me cruel, or wicked, or a one-woman death trap. After all, it was his idea. I thought he knew what he was doing. A slightly odd desire perhaps – but I like to think that I’m not in the least judgmental. Whatever gets you off…”

“And how did it end? What did he make you do after that?” Poppy inquired.

“He made me promise never to use hairpins again, that’s what.”

“And then? You’re not going to tell me he left it at that?”

“No, but you wanted the story of The Simple Binding Spell. That’s it. Story told. Refill, please.”