therealsnape: (OLSB Poppy)
I'm an eager follower of The Austen Project, in which six famous, professional authors offer a new take on Austen's book. This summer [livejournal.com profile] kellychambliss and I discussed the various books, and especially the recently-published Emma.

We were our usual critical selves, and then I thought it would be fun to try a re-write myself. The result you'll find below. It's my take on Emma and my entry for this year's [livejournal.com profile] minerva_fest.

[livejournal.com profile] kellychambliss, ardent Austonian and beta-reader extra-ordinaire, offered invaluable advice, as always. Thank you, dear, for improving my writing and for five glorious years of Minerva-centered works!

Title: Sense and Persuasion
Rating: PG
Word Count: 7900
Characters and/or Pairings: Minerva McGonagall, Poppy Pomfrey, Pomona Sprout, Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank, Augusta Longbottom. In due course, pairings will develop.
Summary: Poppy Pomfrey has all the best characteristics of Emma Woodhouse, and the wisdom that comes with age. So when she interferes, it isn’t meddling. Not at all.
Warnings: None.

Sense and Persuasion )
therealsnape: (MM Who? Me?)
Title: Minerva McGonagall and the Business of Ferrets
Prompt #: Minerva was not prompted to write this story. One might say she was driven.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 17K
Characters and/or Pairings: Minerva, Severus Snape, and assorted others. Listing them here would give away too much of the plot.
Summary: The kitchen burglaries by the ScAvengers seemed innocent at first; a mere teenage prank. But then Minerva and Severus realised they might have a far more sinister meaning.
Warnings: None
Author's Notes: [livejournal.com profile] kellychambliss did her usual magic as a beta and made this story so much better, as always.

Part 1

Minerva McGonagall and the Business of Ferrets, Part 2 )
therealsnape: (MM Who? Me?)
Title: The Case of the Cat Show Corruption
Author: Professor Minerva McGonagall, written for [livejournal.com profile] hoggywartyxmas
(edited by [livejournal.com profile] therealsnape)
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 9700
Characters: Minerva McGonagall, Argus Filch, and others.
Summary: A crime has been committed against Mrs Norris. I investigate the case.
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: I most certainly am the author of this story, and I resent the notion that Ms Rowling owns me. But I promise that I do not make any money from this, and that I have no intention of infringing on Ms Rowling’s copyright.

The Case of the Cat Show Corruption )
therealsnape: (MM Charge)
Here's another installment in the Minerva McGonagall, Spinster Detective series, written for the wonderful [livejournal.com profile] kellychambliss to celebrate her fifth fandom anniversary.

This time, Minerva and Amelia join forces when strange things happen around Privet Drive, Little Whinging.

The Case of the Missing Kittens )
therealsnape: (snape default)
Title: The Case of the Living Portrait
Rating: PG
Word Count: 10500
Characters and/or Pairings: Minerva McGonagall, several walk-ons, and the Portrait of Severus Snape
Summary: After the war, Harry insists on having Severus' portrait painted and put up in the Headmistress's office. However, the painting remains silent and unmoving. Minerva decides to investigate. What happens? This was the delightful prompt I got for the [livejournal.com profile] minerva_fest, and Minerva McGonagall, Spinster Detective is the result.
Warnings: None
Author's Notes: My heartfelt thanks to my wonderful beta [livejournal.com profile] kellychambliss, who kept Minerva's voice as it should be. Free of SPAG and inconsistencies.

The Case of the Living Portrait )
therealsnape: (Irma / Minerva)
Title: : Two Capable Women
Written for the 2013 edition of [livejournal.com profile] hp_beholder
Rating: : R
Pairings: : Irma Pince/Minerva McGonagall
Word Count: : 6700
Warnings/Content Information: My recipient, [livejournal.com profile] albalark told me to put in a warning for Motivational Jargon and PTSD triggers. I deeply apologise for the nervous twitching, simpering, and flashbacks I caused my dear friend.
Summary: : A great many dreadful things have befallen the Hogwarts staff over the years, but the motivational training by Wilberforce (Bertie) Arbuthnot counts among the worst. However, Irma and Minerva rise to the occasion with the fortitude one may expect of two very capable women.
Author's/Notes: : My thanks, as always, to my fabulous betas, [livejournal.com profile] kellychambliss and [livejournal.com profile] tetleythesecond . Not only for the many improvements they made to this story, but also for the courage with which they relived their worst Inspirational Speaker traumas and their generosity in allowing me to use them. Without their sufferings, this story couldn’t have been written.

Two Capable Women )
therealsnape: (snape default)
Title: Hunting the Unicorn, originally written for the fabulous [livejournal.com profile] minerva_fest.
Prompt: One of those stories in which we know where it's going -- toward sex and romance -- so the fun comes in seeing how it gets there. Premise: Minerva's a widow or a contented spinster who's never thought about being interested in women; Wilhelmina's a dyke, but, having been burned in her youth, she now has a strict "no straight women" policy. And yet, of course, they fall for each other anyway.
Rating: a very mild R
Word Count: 10K
Characters and/or Pairings: Minerva McGonagall/Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank
Summary: During her convalescense after the Stunner attack, Minerva enjoys a little light reading, i.e. a scholarly study on Unicorn lore. The tapestries of The Lady and the Unicorn lead to a most interesting hypothesis on love and the five senses. One that Minerva examines with her usual scholarly precision.
Warnings: None

Many thanks to my beta [livejournal.com profile] tetleythesecond for hand-holding, cheer-leading, and generally being beyond wonderful.

Hunting the Unicorn )
therealsnape: (OLSB McGonagall)
When we were in Canterbury last year, we had lots of fun with hairpins.

No, nothing too kinky.

Just that I had to pin up our Minerva's black bun, and then, at the end of the ball, [livejournal.com profile] queen_of_snapes had to take all the pins out of [livejournal.com profile] cranky__crocus's spectacular long hair. And Queenie mentioned how the undoing Minerva's bun, hair tumbling over naked shoulders, whole thing being very sexy and, above all, easy (such a well-known fandom trope) couldn't be realistic at all, since the whole process was full of anxiety on the part of the unpinner and yelps on the part of the bun-owner.

Well, [livejournal.com profile] shadowycat made a drawing of the very moment. You'll find it here.

At the time, I even wrote a little ficlet about the hairpin thing. I never posted it, but [livejournal.com profile] shadowycat's lovely drawing reminded me of it so much, I decided to let you have a peek at it after all.

In the ficlet (I'm giving you the hairpin part of it) Rolanda, Minerva, and Poppy have a late-night drinking session with lots of gossip and stories. (No, you'll never get the full tale.)

At some point someone asks Minerva why she never does anything truly elaborate with her hair, and she says she always uses a simple binding spell. The girls feel there's more to it than that, and, with lavish amounts of liquor, bribe her into telling.

ficlet )
therealsnape: (Kittyhawk black and white)
Title: Carpe Diem
Pairing(s)/Character(s): Minerva McGonagall/Rolanda Hooch
Rating: NC-17
Summary Minerva dislikes fancy dress parties. But then Rolanda helps her find the right costume. And of course Minerva, perfectionist that she is, does nothing by halves.
Word Count: 7200
Warnings/Content: None.
Disclaimer: All characters are owned by JKR. Except Mr Mainwright, who has his own company that has been in the family for generations. He has no intention whatsoever to sell to Warner Bros.
Author's/Artist's notes: Thank you, [livejournal.com profile] kellychambliss, best of betas, for your invaluable help. As always, the story is much better because of your wise words. And thank you, [livejournal.com profile] shiv5468, for being so incredibly helpful with all sorts of britpicking questions.
This was originally written for [livejournal.com profile] samhain_smut. But now that I repost it, I can put in what I wanted to put then:
For [livejournal.com profile] tetleythesecond, whose enthusiasm for Berliner Bubis made me write this story. Thank you for the inspiration (and for much more), my dear.
Carpe Diem )
therealsnape: (Muriel)
Title: A Prewett Always Pays Her Debts
Author: [livejournal.com profile] therealsnape
Characters: Muriel Prewett, assorted others
Word Count: 4300
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Muriel Prewett never bets; she doesn’t know what came over her. The long and short of it is: she lost, and now she’s in trouble. But as Molly says, “A trouble shared is a trouble halved.”
Author's Notes: Many thanks to my wonderful beta, [livejournal.com profile] kellychambliss, whose insightful comments did so much to improve this story. It was originally written for HP football bets, so I may as well thank the Japanese team, without whose victory this story would never have been written.


A Prewett Always Pays Her Debts )
therealsnape: (OLSB Poppy)
Author: [livejournal.com profile] therealsnape
Recipient: [livejournal.com profile] squibstress
Title: A Ministering Angel Thou
Pairing: Minerva/Poppy
Request: Ten degrees above normal, and this pairing
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1800
Summary: Minerva finds she has a talent for nursing after all.
Author's Notes: I read [livejournal.com profile] albalark’s wonderful Pomfrey/Hagrid story on the [livejournal.com profile] rarepair_shorts Wishlist, and then this little thing wrote itself in mere hours. Figuratively speaking, of course – my courageous beta [livejournal.com profile] kellychambliss flung herself between you and the first version, for which I’m deeply grateful. Poppy is grateful, too; she says she owes you one.

A Ministering Angel Thou )
therealsnape: (MM/SS Heard the latest?)
Title: Black Knight Moves Forward
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Minerva McGonagall/Severus Snape
Word Count: 9700
Summary: The Giant Wizard Chess is meant to protect the Philosopher’s Stone. But, as Severus finds out, there’s more to it than meets the eye.
Author's/Artist's Notes: Reposted from the wonderful [livejournal.com profile] hp_beholder fest.
My marvellous beta, [livejournal.com profile] kellychambliss, made this story so much better, as always.

All details on the various creatures in this story are based on Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander, 2001, Obscurus Books, 18a Diagon Alley, London, in association with Arthur A. Levine Books/Scholastic Press.

Without Mr. Scamander’s classic and unsurpassed work this story could not have been written. Any errors, however, remain my own. The experiment described in this story must never be attempted in a non-fictional environment.

Black Knight Moves Forward )
therealsnape: (zz happy holidays)
Title: Procrastination
Character(s)/Pairing(s): Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank/Minerva McGonagall
Rating: PG-13
Warnings (if any): no warnings

This story was written as a Christmas gift for [livejournal.com profile] kellychambliss and [livejournal.com profile] tetleythesecond. They were the inspiration for the story and the title, but above all they are a constant inspiration in my life. The marvellous [livejournal.com profile] miss_morland did a wonderful job as a beta.

Author's Notes:I think it's time to stop being in denial and to admit to my addiction.

"Hi, I'm TRS, and I'm a serial fic'er."

Warning after all:Don't read that line out loud. The statement "I know a serial fic'er" may get you into serious trouble on the home front.

Anyhow, this is officially a new installment in my Sleeping Dragons multilogy.
In order of story events, the other helpings are Sleeping Dragons, Fighting the Good Fight (set in the same universe, but Willa merely gets a mention), and A helping hand. And ... erm ... yes, this is a Christmas story, and this so isn't the time nor the place. I'm just reposting it here to have all my stories in one place. Stare a bit at the icon for atmosphere, please.

Procrastination )
therealsnape: (Writing Fanfic is my Therapy)
Title: Curtain
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 8000
Characters and/or Pairings: Severus/Hermione
Summary: An outrageous tale in which Severus isn’t dead, and Hermione isn’t going to marry Ron nor work for the Ministry. Instead, Post-Battle Hogwarts needs money for rebuilding, and one of the fundraising projects is a Hogwarts Calendar. A tragi-comedy in five scenes and some interludes.
Warnings: Improper use of Sartre, crises existentialistes, one or two instances of Smiling!Severus.
Disclaimer: All characters and the world they live in are JKR’s. She also owns an Epilogue, but we chose to ignore it.
Author's Notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] hoggywartyxmas, and finally reposted here because I'm spring-cleaning my fics and reposting them all. The help of my marvellous betas [livejournal.com profile] kellychambliss and [livejournal.com profile] tetleythesecond was invaluable as always.

Curtain )
therealsnape: (Default)
A few weeks ago I noticed I had completely forgotten to cross-post this story. Since I like to keep everything together on my LJ, here it is.

The prompt was given by [livejournal.com profile] tetleythesecond for the fabulous [livejournal.com profile] minerva_fest: In Deathly Hallows, we see Minerva cast an Imperius, effortlessly and without a real need. I’d like to see that explored. How did she learn to cast Unforgivables as if they were simple cleaning charms? Why didn’t she have a moral problem doing it? This was exactly the story I had wanted to write for a long time. The agony started, of course, when I actually had to do it. Thanks to my wonderful beta, [livejournal.com profile] kellychambliss, I didn't jump off the Astronomy Tower in despair.

Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 7,370
Characters and/or Pairings: Minerva McGonagall, Griselda Marchbanks, Pomona Sprout. Mention of Minerva/Wilhelmina Grubbly-Plank
Summary: Pomona knows that Minerva will come to regret her decision, but there’s nothing she can do about it. So she calls on Professor Marchbanks for help.
Warnings: none
Disclaimer: “Harry Potter” belongs to J.K. Rowling and her legal licencees. In the section describing events in the Ravenclaw Common Room, I’ve followed Deathly Hallows as closely as possible. This means that several phrases and descriptions are quoted from the original. No plagiarism is intended.

Fighting the Good Fight )
therealsnape: (Muriel)
Title: A Time and a Place
Pairing/Character(s): Muriel Weasley/Minerva
Rating: NC-17
Contains: bondage
Word count:6500
Summary:You-Know-Who is gone, the Baby-Who-Lives is with his foster parents, the wizarding world celebrates. And being “second-in-command” has never been more stressful for Minerva than right now. Then Muriel comes with a suggestion that seems to offer all the delights of control ...
Author notes: Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] tetleythesecond whose detailed beta improved this tale immeasurably.

A Time and a Place )
therealsnape: (Writing Fanfic is my Therapy)
Title: The White Team versus Orange.
Author : [livejournal.com profile] therealsnape
Pairing and prompt : Rita / Poppy, Role reversal
Recipient : To the winner of HP_Worldcup_Bets on Dreamwidth, [livejournal.com profile] tetleythesecond, for outstanding knowledge of every aspect of football. With a tip of the wand to [livejournal.com profile] kellychambliss, for remarkable Legilimency in the NY subway.

No warnings : Just three good reasons not to click on the LJ- cut.

It isn’t beta’ed. I’ve the best betas in the world, but in this case they’re also the recipients.

It’s too long. 500 words of starched, white uniforms with, perhaps, a bit of Quill-tickling thrown in was what Tetley hoped for. 3k of waffling and a second-hand neck rub is what she gets. Ah, well. It’s an imperfect world we live in. If it weren’t, Holland would have beaten Germany in the finals.

And it’s OOC verging on the crack, but I’m not to blame. Tetley started it, Miss, she wanted to play at Role Reversal. And then it all just … happened. Liek whoah.

The White Team versus Orange )
therealsnape: (lost in a book)
Title: By the Book
Author: [livejournal.com profile] therealsnape
Fandom: Harry Potter, written for International Day of Femslash 2010
Pairing: Irma Pince / Minerva McGonagall
Rating: NC-17 (And you have my wonderful beta, [livejournal.com profile] kellychambliss, to thank for that. She encouraged me to go beyond my usual mild R and improved the story in many other ways, too.)
Word Count: 6400
Disclaimer: JKR owns everything, except, of course, Irma’s book.
Summary: Irma Pince writes her Magnum Opus. No, you can’t order it. Yes, you might want to.
Notes: The prompt was “Irma / Minerva, by the book”. Hence the dazzling originality of title and pairing.

By the Book )
therealsnape: (Kittyhawk black and white)
Title: An Unexpected Outing
Author: [livejournal.com profile] therealsnape
Rating: R
Pairing(s): Hooch/McGonagall
Summary: Set during OotP. Rolanda enjoys some quiet quality time in Paris. A trip down memory lane, really. Only, in that lovely old bookshop it isn’t her past, but her future she meets.
Warnings: Parisian traffic, a Room with a View, and a Peeves cameo.
Word Count: ~8000
Author's Notes: Potterverse research has shown that Hooch arguably came of age in the Roaring Twenties. And McGonagall, as we all know, in the Fightin’ Forties. Two different worlds, even if the location is the same.
Also, my marvellous [livejournal.com profile] femmefest recipient suggested that ‘as every femslasher knows, if you’re looking for representation in fiction, you have to rely on subtext and your imagination’. And in some cases, it doesn’t take much imagination ...
Those who haven’t read Forster’s A Room with a View, or seen Dame Judi and Dame Maggie (and assorted less important others) should really take a quick look at this picspam of screenshots and comments. Made by the fabulous [livejournal.com profile] diana_hawthorne, who kindly allowed me to link.
And of course, without my two brilliant betas, [livejournal.com profile] kellychambliss and [livejournal.com profile] tetleythesecond there wouldn’t be a story at all.

An Unexpected Outing )
therealsnape: (McG)
Author: [livejournal.com profile] therealsnape
Co-Author and beta: [livejournal.com profile] lash_larue
Title: Pleasures
Summary: On her birthday, Minerva treats herself to a small, private pleasure in the Hogwarts Music Room.
Word Count: 1500
Rating: R
Disclaimer: JKR owns most of the characters. And even if we thought about piano f/f slash first, we gladly give the plotline to the community.
Pairing: Minerva / a Blüthner grand piano called Fräulein Blüthner
Author’s Note: The enthousiastic discussions on RL piano femmeslash in this journal have resulted in two fics. First, there was [livejournal.com profile] lash_larue’s wonderful story The Dyke and the Diva. I recced it, you all went even wilder, cats lying on pianos were mentioned, and then someone wrote the word McBlüthner. I ended up holding the plotbunny. So here are some Pleasures )

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