Therealsnape

Title: Minerva McGonagall and the Business of Ferrets
Prompt #: Minerva was not prompted to write this story. One might say she was driven.
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 17K
Characters and/or Pairings: Minerva, Severus Snape, and assorted others. Listing them here would give away too much of the plot.
Summary: The kitchen burglaries by the ScAvengers seemed innocent at first; a mere teenage prank. But then Minerva and Severus realised they might have a far more sinister meaning.
Warnings: None
Author's Notes: kellychambliss did her usual magic as a beta and made this story so much better, as always.

Part 1

( Minerva McGonagall and the Business of Ferrets, Part 2 )

Here's another installment in the Minerva McGonagall, Spinster Detective series, written for the wonderful kellychambliss to celebrate her fifth fandom anniversary.

This time, Minerva and Amelia join forces when strange things happen around Privet Drive, Little Whinging.

( The Case of the Missing Kittens )

Title: : Two Capable Women
Written for the 2013 edition of hp_beholder
Rating: : R
Pairings: : Irma Pince/Minerva McGonagall
Word Count: : 6700
Warnings/Content Information: My recipient, albalark told me to put in a warning for Motivational Jargon and PTSD triggers. I deeply apologise for the nervous twitching, simpering, and flashbacks I caused my dear friend.
Summary: : A great many dreadful things have befallen the Hogwarts staff over the years, but the motivational training by Wilberforce (Bertie) Arbuthnot counts among the worst. However, Irma and Minerva rise to the occasion with the fortitude one may expect of two very capable women.
Author's/Notes: : My thanks, as always, to my fabulous betas, kellychambliss and tetleythesecond . Not only for the many improvements they made to this story, but also for the courage with which they relived their worst Inspirational Speaker traumas and their generosity in allowing me to use them. Without their sufferings, this story couldn’t have been written.

( Two Capable Women )

When we were in Canterbury last year, we had lots of fun with hairpins.

No, nothing too kinky.

Just that I had to pin up our Minerva's black bun, and then, at the end of the ball, queen_of_snapes had to take all the pins out of cranky__crocus's spectacular long hair. And Queenie mentioned how the undoing Minerva's bun, hair tumbling over naked shoulders, whole thing being very sexy and, above all, easy (such a well-known fandom trope) couldn't be realistic at all, since the whole process was full of anxiety on the part of the unpinner and yelps on the part of the bun-owner.

Well, shadowycat made a drawing of the very moment. You'll find it here.

At the time, I even wrote a little ficlet about the hairpin thing. I never posted it, but shadowycat's lovely drawing reminded me of it so much, I decided to let you have a peek at it after all.

In the ficlet (I'm giving you the hairpin part of it) Rolanda, Minerva, and Poppy have a late-night drinking session with lots of gossip and stories. (No, you'll never get the full tale.)

At some point someone asks Minerva why she never does anything truly elaborate with her hair, and she says she always uses a simple binding spell. The girls feel there's more to it than that, and, with lavish amounts of liquor, bribe her into telling.

( ficlet )

Title: A Prewett Always Pays Her Debts
Author: therealsnape
Characters: Muriel Prewett, assorted others
Word Count: 4300
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Muriel Prewett never bets; she doesn’t know what came over her. The long and short of it is: she lost, and now she’s in trouble. But as Molly says, “A trouble shared is a trouble halved.”
Author's Notes: Many thanks to my wonderful beta, kellychambliss, whose insightful comments did so much to improve this story. It was originally written for HP football bets, so I may as well thank the Japanese team, without whose victory this story would never have been written.


( A Prewett Always Pays Her Debts )

Title: Black Knight Moves Forward
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: Minerva McGonagall/Severus Snape
Word Count: 9700
Summary: The Giant Wizard Chess is meant to protect the Philosopher’s Stone. But, as Severus finds out, there’s more to it than meets the eye.
Author's/Artist's Notes: Reposted from the wonderful hp_beholder fest.
My marvellous beta, kellychambliss, made this story so much better, as always.

All details on the various creatures in this story are based on Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander, 2001, Obscurus Books, 18a Diagon Alley, London, in association with Arthur A. Levine Books/Scholastic Press.

Without Mr. Scamander’s classic and unsurpassed work this story could not have been written. Any errors, however, remain my own. The experiment described in this story must never be attempted in a non-fictional environment.

( Black Knight Moves Forward )

Title: Curtain
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 8000
Characters and/or Pairings: Severus/Hermione
Summary: An outrageous tale in which Severus isn’t dead, and Hermione isn’t going to marry Ron nor work for the Ministry. Instead, Post-Battle Hogwarts needs money for rebuilding, and one of the fundraising projects is a Hogwarts Calendar. A tragi-comedy in five scenes and some interludes.
Warnings: Improper use of Sartre, crises existentialistes, one or two instances of Smiling!Severus.
Disclaimer: All characters and the world they live in are JKR’s. She also owns an Epilogue, but we chose to ignore it.
Author's Notes: Written for hoggywartyxmas, and finally reposted here because I'm spring-cleaning my fics and reposting them all. The help of my marvellous betas kellychambliss and tetleythesecond was invaluable as always.

( Curtain )

Title: A Time and a Place
Pairing/Character(s): Muriel Weasley/Minerva
Rating: NC-17
Contains: bondage
Word count:6500
Summary:You-Know-Who is gone, the Baby-Who-Lives is with his foster parents, the wizarding world celebrates. And being “second-in-command” has never been more stressful for Minerva than right now. Then Muriel comes with a suggestion that seems to offer all the delights of control ...
Author notes: Many thanks to tetleythesecond whose detailed beta improved this tale immeasurably.

( A Time and a Place )

Title: By the Book
Author: therealsnape
Fandom: Harry Potter, written for International Day of Femslash 2010
Pairing: Irma Pince / Minerva McGonagall
Rating: NC-17 (And you have my wonderful beta, kellychambliss, to thank for that. She encouraged me to go beyond my usual mild R and improved the story in many other ways, too.)
Word Count: 6400
Disclaimer: JKR owns everything, except, of course, Irma’s book.
Summary: Irma Pince writes her Magnum Opus. No, you can’t order it. Yes, you might want to.
Notes: The prompt was “Irma / Minerva, by the book”. Hence the dazzling originality of title and pairing.

( By the Book )

Author: therealsnape
Co-Author and beta: lash_larue
Title: Pleasures
Summary: On her birthday, Minerva treats herself to a small, private pleasure in the Hogwarts Music Room.
Word Count: 1500
Rating: R
Disclaimer: JKR owns most of the characters. And even if we thought about piano f/f slash first, we gladly give the plotline to the community.
Pairing: Minerva / a Blüthner grand piano called Fräulein Blüthner
Author’s Note: The enthousiastic discussions on RL piano femmeslash in this journal have resulted in two fics. First, there was lash_larue’s wonderful story The Dyke and the Diva. I recced it, you all went even wilder, cats lying on pianos were mentioned, and then someone wrote the word McBlüthner. I ended up holding the plotbunny. So here are some ( Pleasures )