Some Thoughts on a Love Meme

[therealsnape]

lokifan is currently hosting a multi-fandom love meme on her LJ. She put it up because, as she put it, a lot of people are feeling bruised by the events of 2016, and she wanted to create a space where warm and positive things are said.

I know there has been some controversy in the past about a love meme that someone who's name I've forgotten started years ago. While the meme generated hundreds of comments, there were some people who said that those who weren't mentioned would feel angry or upset.

Personally, I don't see why seeing people say lovely things about your friends should make you feel angry, any more than why seeing a friend's story recced should make you jealous or upset at not being recced yourself. I think being happy for them and thinking about whether they will have seen the rec, and whether you should drop them a line, is much better for everyone's mood, including your own.

If you don't see your own name in such a meme, you might think, "Why the hell is no-one nice about me?" Most people, including myself, are insecure enough to have that as a first, gut reaction. But at that point you have a choice: you can start shouting, or you can stop and recognize it as an ungenerous reaction. And you can decide that you, too, are a person who says good things about their friends.

So here are three reasons I want to point you all toward lokifan's meme.

1. Several of you are mentioned and lovely things are said about you.

2. If you want to take a few minutes out of your day to do something nice for another person, here's a quick and easy way of doing so.

3. There are currently over 400 comments (and it's growing by the minute) that represent over 400 moments in which a person did something nice for another person.

And there's one comment where someone who says they were very happy in 2016, and yet they can't find a more gracious response than to lash out in a vicious way to poor Loki, who only tried to make good things happen.

Actually, when you can't find anything nice to say, you just might consider saying nothing at all.

That's why I put up this post, really. To encourage warmth and acts of friendship and generosity. And that's why I'm not putting it under a cut.

Comments

[kellychambliss.livejournal.com]

I totally agree with you! Well said. I will head over to the meme now.

[tetleythesecond]

I hope I have enough bandwidth at least to post this comment on the second attempt, but I just want to say brava! I'm going to try to hop over, but in case I don't manage, let it be known that I love you all!

[tetleythesecond]

Also, now that I'm sitting in a coffee shop with internet, here's a graphic I recently saw that nicely summarises the comment you mention:



(Edit: In which "you" obviously is not you, but the original commenter.)

[therealsnape.livejournal.com]

I got the edit even before you put it *grins*
Great drawing!

I was going to put in the golden girls icon, but I hit the wrong icon. Still, this one has some great memories, too.

[dreamy-dragon73.livejournal.com]

Couldn't agree more. Will take a look right away.

[miss-morland.livejournal.com]

Wow, yeah, that comment was super-odd. :-(

Thanks for the reminder! Will head on over to leave some nice comments. <3

[cranky--crocus.livejournal.com]

Actually, when you can't find anything nice to say, you just might consider saying nothing at all.
Yes, that was always my mother's advice: "If you don't have something nice to say, don't say it at all." We have since learned that occasionally the kindest thing to say isn't always nice, but it still allows us the distinction of making our conversation 'good talks'. Love the idea of a Love Meme! Been meaning to get there myself. Thank you for sharing!